so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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