"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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