its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
