just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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