he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
