You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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