Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
