im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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