what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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