wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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