im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize