am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
