i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
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I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person