I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dicks are not precious.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound