wakey wakey hands off snakey
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi