it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
