i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
