My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't deserve a penis
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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