i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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