She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
