how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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