the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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