Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
