It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you still have your period?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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