is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
How's work?
Spinning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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