Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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