Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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