Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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