lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
