Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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