he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
