I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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