she was so not down for the gang bang
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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