You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize