I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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