And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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