for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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