apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize