we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
