Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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