the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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