We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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