id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize