my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize