guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry my hands just texted you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
