apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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