Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
