Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
