Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize