and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
