If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
