is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
