If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
