dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
