i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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